rabbi innee lima anzalta ilayya min khayrin faqeer!

"O my Lord! truly am I in (desperate) need of any good that Thou dost send me..." (28:24)

Drawing Lots in Life

If protesting does not avail
then hold the tongue
swallow grief
then wait
Wait for your tense muscles to relax
for the ache in your heart to fade
for that knot in your throat to unfurl
for the anxiety to leave you be
You don't act because you can find no action
Your only propeller, time
like mud slowly dragging you behind 
As you remember days when you raced past it
cruel is fate,
letting you dream and believe in nonsensical possibilities
Allowing you to smell and even taste victory
Only to bring you crashing on your knees
wont you leave me one thing?
Wont you spare me my heart, or my body, or my mind, or my soul
Must you test me in everything at once?
If it is meant for me to suffer
and that is my lot in life
then I will suffer